Listen to Leon

Some people are too creative for their own good. Whomever came up with the concept of glitter bombing is an evil genius. Throwing glitter in protest; it’s simple, yet outstanding! To perform an action that’s both disrespectful and sparklingly fabulous is like the Lucky Charms of assault. It’s magically delicious! Imagine me saying “sparklingly fabulous” [...]

Tonight at 8PM, I will be performing stand-up at the DC Improv. I recently took their 5 Minutes To Funny class and this evening is the graduation showcase. I can’t wait to get onstage and make folks laugh in real-time as opposed to via a computer monitor or smart phone. Folks who went to last [...]

OK. They don’t really call me that. I’m just saying, my iPod is jamming WAY too hard right now, and I blame Mr. Johnny Guitar Watson. As a matter of fact, let me revise that first statement; most of the women I’ve dated would absolutely call me the “Superman Lover.” They’d also call me other [...]

I would like to congratulate Morgan Freeman on his upcoming nuptials. A lot of folks are giving him flack for marrying his step granddaughter, and to be honest, it does sound pretty creepy, but he’s been with her for 10 years now. Sure, that means in the early days Freeman’s now fiancee was a 17 [...]

Yesterday I pushed the limits of good taste with my Sistine Chapel header. Today, I’m keeping it sexy. Don’t let the smooth taste fool you! Just to clarify, I am not advertising Colt 45 Malt Liquor. Nor am I co-signing the jheri curl belonging to Billy Dee Williams circa the early-to-mid 1980s. I’m just paying [...]

When a man gets dunked on as savagely as Kendrick Perkins did by Blake Griffin tonight, I am required by law to write about it. Blake Griffin just besmirched Kendrick Perkins’ dignity. Ate that man’s lunch. Called his newborn baby ugly. All of that, in one dunk. See for yourself… Even the commentator paused for [...]

Every day this week, I will be trying out new headers on this website and looking for feedback. I have been riding with the Michael Jackson one for entirely too long so it’s about time that I switch things up. Plus, I have been neglecting my talent for Photoshop mayhem. As you can see from [...]

I am proud to announce that You Know What Really Grinds My Gears, my collaboration with DJ Roz of Champion Sounds, was a success. Last Tuesday marked the first open-forum karaoke-style airing of the grievances in the history of..ever. My only fear of hosting what amounted to an open-mic rant session was that there would [...]

Everywhere I go, I keep seeing this photo of Arizona Governor Jan Brewer sticking her finger in the face of President Obama. I wish I were a Secret Service agent on the scene when this happened I would have tackled the f*ck out of her. It’s crazy the level of disrespect the first Black President [...]

It’s not often that you can congratulate a man for getting fired, but getting fired from coaching the Washington Wizards is pretty much a blessing. Flip Saunders, congratulations on no longer having to find a way to compete in the NBA with a lackluster roster that may as well be called John Wall & the [...]

In a first-of-it’s-kind event, tonight I am hosting You Know What Really Grinds My Gears. It’s like karaoke, but for people with some sh*t on their minds. I’ve lined up one of the area’s best DJs, DJ Roz of Champion Sounds(of Hip-Hop Karaoke fame), and I’m passing along a sign-up list for folks who want [...]

Dirty Macking – (v) 1.) The act of attempting to gain someone’s romantic favor by disparaging or belittling someone else. 2.) Some ol’ crabs in a bucket bullsh*t losers resort to in the hopes of getting laid. Too much information alert: I am a 2012 born-again virgin. That’s right; we are 20 days in, and [...]

I’m a few days late posting this clip, but “Key and Peele” on Comedy Central looks like it’s going to be hilarious. I wish I could let my inner “Luther” loose more often! If this were a real job in the Obama Administration, I’d be all over it. I am a master at reading between [...]

2012 has been both incredibly promising and agonizingly painful. As you may already know, I have an event coming up January 24th, the likes of which Washington DC has never seen before. It features great music as well as the chance to go up and share your own public rant about ANYTHING. Think “karaoke” meets [...]

My weekend was amazing, but it almost ended on a horribly traumatic note. We’ll get to the violent felony that came close to happening shortly. First off, let me once again toot my own horn and announce not one, but two upcoming ListenToLeon.net related events in the next month. The first is the one that [...]

Please join me January 24th at Cafe Saint-Ex in Washington DC for an evening of great hip hop and random-ass rants. The event is titled “You Know What Really Grinds My Gears” which is an homage to Peter Griffin from Family Guy. If you’re unfamiliar with the reference, watch this video of Griffin’s nonsensical news [...]

Thanks to the weather turning ridiculously cold, I am now dealing with a case of hat hair. To those of you who are unfamiliar with hat hair,  below is an unofficial definition: Hat Hair – (n) Hair that has become mashed down, frizzy, or some other variation of f*cked up after the removal of a [...]

Drunken conversations with famous people never go well for me. I was out last night celebrating the birthdays of my friends Monica and Rob. During the course of the evening, alcohol happened, and I went from Laid Back Leon to the Light Skinned Incredible Hulk. At a certain point, I saw DeAngelo Hall of the [...]

Yes, that’s a Seal seal. Blame Twitter for this random slice of hybrid nonsensical hilarity. Tweet

First off, Merry Christmas. Second, yes that’s a photo of Clarence Carter. Third, don’t you fix your mouth to besmirch Clarence’s good name. Christmas won’t stop me from stopping by your house and tuning you up real quick, right in front of your tree. Getting your chops busted by a blogger in front of your [...]