The Root of All Evil

I'm not at all shy about mentioning the ridiculous amount of debt I got myself into.

Mostly because that year living on couches and on credit cards was a big learning experience. And the three years that came after, where I was working a job that wasn't covering my bills, leading to even more debt, was it's own kind of adventure.

Just a few months ago, I was getting lined up to finally be able to really start paying things down--even despite the bad turn in the economy. It wasn't going to be quick, but there was a plan in motion and the various and sundry parts of it were coming together nicely, one little bit at a time.

Now, the chances of getting out of the debt I'm in have been reduced from slim to none.

The credit cards are all raising their base rate by well more than I'd be able to afford with the balances I'm carrying. If deals can't be cut with them, what little space is left on most of my cards will be swallowed whole by the new interest charges and the minimum payments will well exceed what I can squeeze out of my budget.

That time in the hospital has bills rolling in from all over--just got another two yesterday--and those expenses are unplanned, unexpected and unpayable without the credit cards.

(And let me just say that, for those of you out there who've dealt with a lot more--and more serious--medical conditions than I have: more power to you! This crap is ridiculous. So much more complex and obfuscated than it needs to be.)

So now I am staring down the barrel of bankruptcy once again, except this time I don't know how I'm going to dodge it. (The last few times things have seemed this bleak financially, there were still expenses to cut and buffers to squeeze into.)

It's frustrating to be so close to "winning" on my own terms only to have any chance of that snatched away by a few random occurrences that are well beyond my control.

Good news is, there is more income on the way... and hopefully some more freelance stuff in the near future.

Lots of opportunity, actually.

It's just a matter of timing.

And my timing has always been... odd. Even at my luckiest.

Time to cut back where I can, forgo things (like the X-Conference this coming weekend) that I've been looking forward to for months, and generally suck it up and follow the thousands of other people out there into the legal end of the financial system.

Or, y'know, just stop paying the bills. That would open up a whole lot of money.

But, hey, either way, a new adventure, right? And you all get to watch it play out. (With apologies to those of you who are regularly frustrated by my financial choices, of course... practice your head shaking and *tsk*ing now, you're probably going to need it, as usual.) ;)

The actual quote is "The Love of Money is the Root of All Evil." I have no love for money. I dislike it more and more the further into negative net worth land I get. That should put me well out of evil's grasp at this point.

All I really want is to end up at zero.